


Selective blindness

by Lavender_aiden



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Body Dysphoria, Canon Disabled Character, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-06-12 07:31:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19564384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavender_aiden/pseuds/Lavender_aiden
Summary: Ignis laid in bed, excitement radiating off of him. All his worrying would soon be over.  After years of waiting, an eye donor had finally been found.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kickcows](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickcows/gifts).



> Hello!! This is a BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR MY FRIENDO COWS :U  
> I HOPE SHE HAS A GOOD BIRTHDAY AND IS HAVEING FUN RIGHT NOW!!
> 
> This is my first time posting on ao3. enjoy! :D

Ignis laid in bed, excitement radiating off of him. All his worrying would soon be over. After years of waiting, an eye donor had finally been found. It took a while for someone to come in with the same hue as him, but he was grateful nonetheless.

He laid on his and promptos shared bed, hands intertwined, basking in the others warmth. "Tommorow love...tommorow, I'll finally be able to see you again"

Prompto nodded and laughed lightly " well it's a good thing I haven't changed much then. Wouldn't want you to not recognise me."

Ignis gripped his hand a bit tighter and smiled.

"I would never forget you prompto. Not your freckles, your smile, your Chocobo hair-

"My hair does NOT look like a chocobo!"

At that ignis laughed. His first true laugh in a long while, and prompto loved every ounce of it. Seeing how iggys lips turned, how he tried to hide his mouth beneath his hand, he loved it all. He was absolutley thrilled. The love of his life was finally going to see again. He was excited. he was happy. 

he was anxious.

he was worried.

\-----  
Through out the years of ignis blindness and darkness, the two of them had grown dependent on one another. Or least, they used to be. Prompto aided ignis immediatley following Altissa. He wasn't even asked at first, he just knew he had to. Truthfully, prompto had wanted to get closer to the man from the beginning. He had always harbored a crush on him. And slowly as the years went by and the darkness came, they became more to each other, yet at the same time..they became less.

Ignis, ever the tactician, adapted to his blindness quickly. Within 2 years he was relatively "independent", Cooking on his own and going on missons. 

Slowly him and prompto "drifted". prompto staying in hammerhead, ignis in Galdin. But whenever they would meet, he was reminded oh so tenderly why he loved that man.

Eventually noct returned and together, they took down ardyn. Slowly they began to rebuild and ignis, finally, came home to prompto.  
\------

As prompt watched the even rise and fall of ignis's chest that night, he couldn't help but feel uneasy. Sure he was glad. The love of his life would finally be able to see again, and although he knew it was for the best,..although he knew how badly ignis deserved this..after all the sacrafices he had made for the greater good...he would be lying if he said he didn't have his own doubts.

As he stared at ignis, admiring his face, a pang of guilt ran through him. "Ignis..." he whispered into the warm night, his head tucked against iggys sleeping form, hands still intertwined. "im so happy for you. Through out all these years, seeing you adapt and grow, seeing you challenge yourself, it was amazing to watch it all first hand." He squeezed iggys hand a bit tighter "it was amazing being with you. Through every battle, Through every meeting and conflict. It was like watching you dance from far. You excell at everything... And that's why.....thats why I'm so scared ignis."

He closed his eyes in thought and cringed when he felt tears prick the corners of his eyes. 

"I-I'm so scared ignis. And the worse, part is, I'm not even scared for you." he could feel and hear the tears choking his voice and hated how they altered his speech 

"I've always been selfish, I've always wanted attention, wanted people to like me...especially you.  
I've always wanted you ignis but y-you....you only noticed me when you couldn't see me." 

"Gladio asked me to watch you, and I was happy to oblige. I'd always watched you from afar, so finally being close to you was wonderfull. I guided you, picked you up when you fell, aided you when ever you needed to, no questions asked!" He smiled sadly and leaned into ignis 

"And when you finally told me you loved me...i was so happy. You wouldn't even believe the emotions.. the pure joy I felt then. You Finally noticed me iggy. After all these years of silence and training,you finally loved me...but why now? What changed ignis..."

"I never wanted to think it but...was it because you couldn't see me? Was it because i was your aide?....ignis... I" 

He pushed himself deeper into ignis's side and took a shaky breath 

"ignis...will you still love me when you can see again? Will you love these cold lifeless eyes of mine from years of darkness? Will you love seeing these hideous stretch marks, you constantly fondle at night? Will you love the scars I've draped my body in?"

"Your blindness is..I-I was your crutch! but when your vision comes back and your confidence returns...by the Six...i pray you'll still need me....i hope you'll stay with me."

He gave another sorrowful smile as he felt a new wave of tears cloud his vision. 

"I just...i hope you'll still love me....im s-sorry iggy."

He pressed a gentle kiss against ignis cheek and turned around in the bed, unwanting to aggitate him anymore. He huffed and closed his eyes, hopeing his sadness would lull him to sleep.

And even though both his eyes stung from the saltiness of his own tears, ignis remained still that night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waiting room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whose stupid and made a chapter 2!? ME
> 
> who has no idea where this is gonna go!?? ME!! :D

They arrived at Insomnia Hospital at noon. Noctis and Gladio already waiting.

"Look who it is" Noctis chimed as he hugged the two of them, holding ignis a tad bit longer "Finally ready to see again specs?"

"Of course the mans ready, hes been in the dark for 10 years" gladio quipped "Bet your already thinking of where ya want to go and what ya want to cook right after the operation. Right ignis?"

"...."

"Ignis?" Noct asked, " you ok? Your unusually quiet"

"Babe?"

Ignis shook his head slowly " Apologies. My mind seems to have...wandered off "

"Yeah..ahh thats not like the ignis I know " Gladio looked to Noctis with the level of bemusment

"Its alright babe, it's a big day after all. My mind would wander too"

"Dont worry ignis." Noctis said assuringly "I've amassed the greatest healers and doctors in all of Eos and farther. You'll get your vision back. Your in good hands."

"..yes your majes-- noct. I thank you."

An uncomfortable silence fell around them, all three boys sharing the same puzzled expression of concern. It was rare that ignis called noctis majesty anymore. Only during political meeting or moments of dire urgency. 

Prompto tugged gently on the hem of his shirt and then held onto iggys hand "...ignis, are you sure your ok?" He smiled gently "If your not feeling well babe, we can postpone this."

Ignis squeezed his hand back " prompto....I...I'm -

"Ignis scientia? The room is ready for you." A male nurse with spikey red hair apeared. "I'll be helping to guide and check on you during and after the operation. You ready?"

".....Yes. yes, i am." Taking one last "glance" at his group of friends, whom were still in silence, ignis simply nodded and said "I'll see you soon." With that he was lead through double doors.

\-----

"Prompto...is everything alright with specs"

"Umm to be honest I dont know? Last night he was all excited for the operation. I guess maybe the nerves hit him?"

"Really?" Gladio let out a exasperated laugh " ignis? Nervous? Over a surgery? When he wasn't even scared to rumble withwith Ardyn on his own? Yeah. I doubt that"

"You know gladio, iggys human. He gets nervous and scared too"

"We know prompto" noct said" But, it's just odd for him. He clearly wasn't his normal self. I atleast thought he would be talking about how he'd finally get to see you after so long. He just seemed so..out of it."

"Well...I mean, hes probably j-just has alot on his mind" prompto stammered 

At that noct looked prompto in the eyes. Stammering was a habit he'd thought prompto outgrew, it only came back when he was extremley worried or anxious "prom...did ignis say anything to you?....or..did you say anything to him?"

At that prompto eyes grew wide. Was noct really blaming him for this? Was iggy not allowed to have an off day? He clenched his fists on his knees and lowered his head "I get that your worried about him noct. Really I am. But... please. Dont try to put the blame on me."

Noct was taken aback for a moment "sorry. I wasnt trying to blame you. It's just that..I worry for him. He always says hes fine but, living in this darkness for so long..I know it takes a toll on him. Before my final battle with Ardyn, he told me what he'd seen and I was devastated. Hes sacrificed so much for use In hope of a new dawn. Prompto I'm sorry. I guess..I guess I just assumed since you two are together that he would voice his concerns with you"

"Well you thought wrong!"

"Easy there champ. Nocts just trying to figure out what's wrong. No need to twist your panties in a bunch"

"And theres no need for the two of you to interrogate me, but you do it all the time!" prompto yelled

"Prompto, where not trying to blame you. Were just worried about ignis! "

"Then ask HIM what's wrong! He doesnt voice his concerns with me! He doesnt tell me if hes in pain, he doesnt tell me when he needs help. He didnt tell me that he knew he'd lose his sight, he didnt tell me about Ardyn" he laughed as tears started to prick his eye " he didnt even tell me he was getting this stupid operation first, he told you! I had to find out from YOU!"

"Prompto, it doesnt matter who he told f-- 

"YES IT DOES! I'm supposed to be his boyfriend, but clearly; I'm just a convenient fuck! He doesnt need me like I need him! He doesnt love me like I love him! I might as well just be his caregiver! But it's not like it matters, after all he hasn't needed me for the past 8 years!" With that prompto stormed out and left the waiting area leaving both noctis and gladio in shock.

"Kinda loud, arent they?" The red head nurse said. "Whatever it is I hope they get it over with soon. Now ignis. Just breathe in through the mask and..Ah..hold on" he grabbed a napkin from the table and began to wipe around his eyes "no need to cry or be scared. Were the best at what we do. You'll definatley see again, that's a promise. Now breathe in and sleep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writeing is so hard omfg this took me months and its trash. But one man trash is another man's treasure so o3o hope you guys like it!
> 
> Suggestion would be nice, I think I'm getting the hang of this!

**Author's Note:**

> Listen.....listen...i cant write cute stuff ok? Angst is bread and butter :v  
> Maybe, if this continues, it will be more fluffy~?
> 
> Again, happy birthday cows, love ya <3
> 
> Hope yall enjoyed it :D


End file.
